#Bruce like

[sunriseovergotham]

characters have to be a little bit awful in ways that you cant defend. its good for the ecosystem. your honor he did do that. He did in fact do that

[fanaticalthings]

Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

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Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

[freefallintothevoid]

Dick Grayson's unmatched success as a child vigilante makes a lot more sense when you remember the Court of Owls was a thing and that Dick was meant to be the next Grey Son.

There is no way that someone at Haly's Circus wasn't there keeping an eye on him while he grew up. A future weapon needs to be trained and monitored after all, and a circus, a place where weird skills are completely normal, is actually a great place to secretly train a child.

You know, just some knife tricks that translated really well into actual fighting. How to get out of restraints and pick locks while under a time limit. Death defying acrobatic stunts that coincidentally do wonders for parkouring. That sort of thing. Nothing that seems out of place for a boy growing up around circus performers to learn, but would literally any where else.

I mean, while I fully believe that most kids would want to kill the man responsible for their parents deaths, Dick was weirdly prepared to go through it. He tracked down Zucco with way more ease than any normal child should have too. He became the first child vigilante, for goodness sake. The first Robin! He only started getting formal training after he basically forced Bruce into it!

Bruce himself has no idea that this kind of competency in a child is unusual, considering he was much too blinded by the similarities between his and Dick's tragic orphanhoods.

Alfred is in a similar boat because he’s desensitized to weird children after he somehow managed to successfully raise Bruce 'The Batman' Wayne, so he doesn't clock the hyper-competency as abnormal either.

By the time the other batkids start popping up (Jason 'The Audacity' Todd, borderline-street rat with no fear) (Tim 'the greatest stalker in Gotham history' Drake, child genius, also bullied his way into becoming Robin) (Barbara 'raised by the only uncorrupt cop in gotham' Gordon) (Stephanie 'daddy issues and spite' Brown) (Duke 'Pretends he's the normal one and people believe him' Thomas) it's too late.

It would also explain how Dick got along so well with Damian out of all of them. Similar childhood with different approaches and all that. On some subconscious level, Dick recognises and resonates with the murderous ten year old assassin with strong familial ties to a secret elite assassin organization.

It isn't until after the whole Court of Owls and Grey Son reveal that suddenly Dick realises a whole lot of things about his childhood that suddenly make a lot more sense.

[fernacular]

Despite what you may have heard Bruce Wayne is not, in fact, a furry.

He is, however, very opinionated.

[frownyalfred]

Lucius Fox must be having SUCH a bad time if he knows Bruce Wayne’s secret identity because now he has to sit through board meetings next to a man who he knows broke sixteen bones between two henchmen last night because they didn’t give Batman the hideout address fast enough but is somehow patient and self-controlled enough to let Lisa from WE Accounting rip into him without even twitching.

[bruciemilf]

Batman isn’t a mask; It’s a leash. In this essay I will—

[ashoss]

some things dont change

[supine-ly]

Natural selection at its finest

[singswan-springswan]

In a happy world where Jason is legally resurrected and gets to go to college like he's always dreamed of

[waveoftheocean]

wahoo finished this in time for superbat week day 5: tired dads!!

[itsdabatt]

happy national impersonate your favorite vigilante day to those who celebrate

Part 2

[t00thpasteface]

who let this man adopt a child

[bbbbbbbbatman]

Bruce keeping a tighter and tighter lid on his identity around the Justice League because with each new person to reveal their identity he realizes that he has fucked far too high a percentage of his co workers as Bruce Wayne and he has to take this secret to his grave

[goaheadandgetinthebog]

Several videos (independently) start circulating on the internet of the Waynes info dumping.

Bruce - the role of railways in westward expansion in the 1890s

Dick - clown eggs

Jason - tb and the New England vampires of the late 19th century, with reference to vampire literature

Cass - Paris sewer system

Tim - comparison of different camera lenses from different manufacturers, with model numbers

Duke - anti homeless architecture and how to remove it

Damian - cat declawing

After all this, a new meme forms.

'You must be this autistic to get adopted by Bruce Wayne.'

[varpusvaras]

I think that instead of being super apprehensive about Jason and him dating Roy, Oliver should take one look at him and then one look at Bruce and go oh, I'm about to be so annoying.

Oliver starts being so nice to Jason. So nice. Inviting him to family dinners. Giving him both his hero communications and personal phone number and telling him to call whenever he needs something. He gives him new tech and keeps updating his weapons and armor. He helps with missions and clean up and says nothing if Jason is a little rough, apart from patting him on the back and saying good job. He starts keeping his picture inside his wallet and has other pictures of Jason, Roy and Lian framed in the house and tells everyone about him. He starts calling him son-in-law first and then just son and then calls him a Harper and eventually a Queen.

At first it was just to annoy Bruce, but after the first time he tells Jason that he did a good job and Jason starts to tear up a little, Oliver goes oh no, oh I'm actually doing this now. This my boy now. I don't care if he and Roy break up or something, this is my boy now.

Bruce still thinks he's just doing it for the sole purpose of pissing him off, though, and he is so fucking mad. The Justice League meetings have turned into a Cold War zone.

Bruce starts to being so nice to Jason as well, forcing himself to ignore some of the more outrageous things Jason does, and Jason is so, so fucking confused.

[frownyalfred]

okay but consider the hilarity of Dick Grayson actually making a name for himself as a REALLY good detective over in Blüdhaven, the Gotham tabloids catching wind of it, and printing a whole story about how Dick “…clearly doesn’t get it from his father!”

his father being Bruce Wayne, known in certain circles as the world’s greatest detective. like imagine the dinner table conversation after that story drops.